If it acts like an Ay-rab, it should look like one.

We didn't do much today. I wanted to take it easy today, my knee was really hurting. But I wanted to do something with her. Last night I wormed her. Oh boy was that fun. Next time I do that, I will be wearing shoes. No flip-flops, not a smart idea. She knew I was scared she would step on my feet, so she kept trying to get as close as she could to them. >:[ I finally got pissed off at her, flicked the lead rope hard once, told her whoa dammit, and then she stood there.

Today I braided her mane. If she wants to act like an arab, she can look like one. That's about it for today. It rained, and her stall is flooded, so probably nothing tomorrow. She's supposed to get her shots anyways.

I'm Only Me When I'm With You

Friday night beneath the stars,
in a field behind your yard,
you and I are paintin' pictures in the sky.
And sometimes we don't say a thing;
just listen to the crickets sing.
Everything I need is right here by my side.
And I know everything about you
I don't wanna live without you.

I'm only up when you're not down.
Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground.
It's like no matter what I do.
Well you drive me crazy half the time;
the other half I'm only trying to let you know that what I feel is true.
And I'm only me when I'm with you.

Just a small town boy and girl
livin' in a crazy world.
Tryin' to figure out what is and isn't true.
And I don't try to hide my tears.
The secrets are my deepest fears.
Through it all nobody gets me like you do.
And you know everything about me.
You say you can't live without me.

I'm only up when you're not down.
Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground.
It's like no matter what I do.
Well you drive me crazy half the time;
the other half I'm only trying to let you know that what I feel is true.
And I'm only me when I'm with you.

When I'm with anybody else it's so hard to be myself.
Only you can tell.

That I'm only up when you're not down.
Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground.
It's like no matter what I do.
Well you drive me crazy half the time;
the other half I'm only trying to let you know that what I feel is true.
And I'm only me
Who I wanna be
Well, I'm only me when I'm with you

Ok, sappy time is over. This song was just on, and I realized how true it rang for me. Today was amazing. I didn't get on, but that's ok. Seems fate is doing everything in it's power to stop me from getting on her. I'm getting frustrated. Let's start at the beginning. I gave her some hay first, so she could nibble while I groomed her. She does better that way. She relaxes. Everything went great. Got a good picture of her. Well, good for her anyways. She takes such craptastic pictures.

I groomed her really good, brushed out her mane, and her tail. She did try to threaten me, she raised her back foot in warning when I was brushing her tail, but a quick pop on the butt from the brush let her know I would have none of that. :D She understood, and finished standing quietly. Then came the big scary saddle. As you can see from the above picture, it wasn't that bad. She didn't mind AT ALL! I was so proud of her. And the last time we tried the saddle thing, it was uncomfortable, the girth was too tight. I bought girth extensions. On goes the girth extensions. On goes the saddle. Tighten the girth. DAMMIT, the girth strap broke. WTF? Can ANYTHING else get in the way? My knee was killing me, but I was fighting through it, because today was the day.

So that wasn't going to happen. I was debating taking off the saddle, and heaving myself up there bareback, but then logic kicked in. It wouldn't be smart to do that when nobody is home. The guy next door was helping Richard with the third trailer down from us, but I bet they would be the type to just watch, and not help if something went wrong. Anyway, she was standing good nibbling her hay, not really caring there was a saddle on her back. I pulled on the saddle, leaned on the stirrups, leaned across the saddle as best I could. She didn't bat an eye. So I tossed on the bridle, and we walked around her stall a few times. I'm sure we looked retarded, but I don't care. I love having my horses at my house. I don't have to really worry about people thinking I am doing things wrong, or not doing things the right way, or making an ass of myself. Dream doesn't care how stupid we look, and here, that's all that matters.

After we walked around a few times, I let her get a few more bites to eat. She was being so laid back, so chilled out. I got a great idea. I unsaddled her, and threw some hay in an old muck bucket. I got everything ready at the other end of her stall, and decided to try a bath. Now, we haven't had the best of experiences with bathes, her and I. They always turn into a fight, and I always threaten to sell her, last bath, I told her she was off to meat packing company. So rotten. :D So, this time, everything was still pretty chilled and laid back. I clipped the lead rope to her halter, and brought her to the other end of her stall. Now by this time, there's a slight wind going. Of course. She hates the wind, I hate the wind. But I made everything seem like it wasn't a big deal. I sprayed her off, and let her eat. Then came the sponge, the scary scary sponge. She let me rub the sponge on her left side, and half of her right side this time. HUGE progress. HUGE! And I got most of her mane shampoo'ed. (hid the shampoo bottle lol!) I also scrubbed between her teats, she seemed to like that. Not with the sponge, she tried to kick me again, so I used my fingers and the hose.

After all this, I rinsed her off. We were almost done getting the soap off, when a huge gust of wind came through. Something in the yard behind us banged really loud. Even Moonie, the unspookable pony, spooked. Dream squealed, and flew backward. Usually when something like this happens, she freaks out and doesn't listen. She doesn't trust me fully yet, and we have had issues with things like this. But she hit the end of the leadrope. I took a few steps with her, talking calmly to her. She stopped, looked at me, dropped her head, and came back to where we were standing. I know, it isn't THAT big of a deal to most people, but for us, this was HUGE! She spooked, which is ok. She can get scared of something. But she came back to me. She listened to me the whole time, and trusted me that everything was ok. It was so amazing. I can't begin to describe it.

Because of this, I finished rinsing her off. I could tell she was getting antsy, and I wanted to end on a good note. I let her roll, get covered in mud, and totally defeat the purpose of the bath. She had fun. I had fun. We made a connection today I think. Before I went out there, I was talking to my friend Carina. She asked me if I was scared to get on her. I told her I wasn't scared of Dream. I know she wouldn't hurt me on purpose, regardless of our issues. I am scared that we won't have a connection. I am scared that we won't work well together. My other OTTB Ricky was a saint. He would do anything I asked him, no questions asked. Dream on the other hand questions everything I do. I know this is a lack of trust, and we are working on that. But I am afraid that we won't have that trust, no matter how hard we work at it. But I don't want that to hold me back, and I think up until today, it was. Today I went out there with the mindset that we will have that connection, we will have that trust. I wonder if that's why everything went so well today. Here in a little while I am going to go out there and try to worm her. She's awful about it. I have an old shirt I am going to have handy as a blindfold. Hopefully I can get her to do it. Usually I use the pour-on, Erva-ease or something like that. But there's something wrong with it, and it's not being sold anymore. Dammit. So tube worming it is. Ugh. Wish me luck with that!

I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings.

Before I go out

I thought perhaps I will do a before and after here. I finally, after 2 weeks, got my girth extensions. Ms. Fatty McFat-Fat will be started. A bit of chunk won't stop me. My right knee has really been bothering me. I am worried about it, but I am in denial right now. As long as I don't go get it checked out, nothing is wrong. ;) I got this routine down this time.

The weather for the day is supposed to be HOT. Hot hot hot. I hate the heat. You will see that a lot. The heat and the sun are the bane of my existence. I think that's actually part of the reason I write. It keeps me indoors, and away from the evilness of the heat. I hate Arizona altogether. It's hot, dry, dusty, dirty, and so damn brown. And the dry heat, I LAUGH at the dry heat. There is nothing dry about the heat right now. I am running my evaporative cooler right now, and it's basically shooting out hot, wet air. Dry my ass. I wouldn't mind living somewhere humid, as long as it rained and there was green-ness around. Something to show for the miserable conditions.


So, back to the retraining of the beast. Something a lot of people do that calms horses down when they are working with them is singing. Now, my last OTTB politely told me to keep my trap shut. He would have none of that noise I thought was singing. How rude right? Well, I think that could be where a lot of my creative writing juices began to flow. I would tell elaborate stories as I was tacking up, and riding. He didn't mind me talking, as long as I promised not to try to carry a tune. I can live with that. It helps me get stories going, and it helps me work on the ones I have already in the works. It helps me to hear things outloud when I right, so I know how it will sound to the reader, and this is one way to do it. Sure beats trying to read out loud alone, someone might walk in and know I was crazy. ;)

My new story is eh. I have a basic outline written. Just things I saw in the dream, plus an opening scene. I might use the opening scene as a prologue, and then start the story before the events happen. I hate starting a new story. The beginnings always suck. Blah.

Well, I have stalled long enough. Better get out there before it gets TOO hot. The plan today is to brush her really well, tack her up, and TRY to get on. I don't have a mounting block, and I never realized how high it is to mount a 17h horse. I am hoping she does well enough to tolerate her bath afterward. That's gonna be a show I bet. I will post when I'm done, how things went.

Wish me luck.

First Post

Just wanted to post something here so the page wasn't lonely. I am going to use this blog to document the progress I make with my OTTB. Her registered name is King's Request, her barn name is Dream. Not sure what I am going to do with her yet. But this will be the story of two crippled and crabby ladies trying to work together to achieve great things, and discover great things together. We are building a partnership together, and hopefully a friendship will emerge.